Dads & Generals

When I was a doula, I remember one of the big issues with a cesarean was the hospital's discriminatory practice of limiting support people's presence in the OR. One doctor would let me in with the couple for support no matter what. Other doctors were not so generous.

And, as an overall rule, if the mother was under general anesthesia, then nobody was allowed in the OR with the mother. To me, at the time, I thought this rule unfair. Afterall, it is the father's baby, too...why should he be prevented from being a part of the child's entrance into the world?

Well, the hospital I work at has very generous, baby/mother/family friendly practices, overall. And, the mother's significant other is permitted in the OR, even when general anesthesia is used. Recently, I assisted at one such birth. It was less than the romantic scene of a father welcoming his child into the world that one would hope for.

The poor man was stunned & shocked from the intrinsic scenes of the OR and a major surgery - His intubated wife. Blood seeping off the side of his beloved's abdomen; pooling at her side. Piles of bloody surgical sponges on the floor.

Even though they kept the blue shield up during the surgery, they lowered it after the dressing was intact while we cleaned her and transferred her back to her bed from the OR table.

For someone who may have never set foot in an OR before to be confronted with these sights during a stressful time of a complicated delivery...I just felt like it was too much. The father could not even pull himself together enough to hold the baby when we offered him it in the OR.

I think that even though it feels unfair, from what I witnessed, it is truly for the best to have the father wait in the recovery room for his wife. He would not then have to recovery personally from the trauma he saw before he can comfort his wife and meet his newborn.